Why You Nag and Four Ways to Stop It
Posted by Michelle Osborn on
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Guest post by Dr. Kathy Koch
Do you like to nag? I can't imagine you do. Do you hear yourself nagging more than you would like to, though? Why?
Sometimes children (and adults) choose disobedience. They refuse to do what they're told. They delay the inevitable thinking they can avoid it altogether. So, we nag.
Nagging also might be necessary because we tell children what to do, rather than teach them how to do it. Go ahead - think about something you have to nag someone about. Is it possible he or she doesn't know how to be successful? Are your expectations or your ways unclear?
If you think about which children you need to give constant attention to with your nagging, you might be able to determine what kind of information to include when teaching them about the task.
Some people need compelling reasons. Talk more about and teach more about the "why" behind the task than you think is necessary.
Some people need to know how they can make a difference. Explain how doing the task a certain way will help you or someone else.
Some people need to know the big picture. Explain how this one task fits into the whole - other tasks, expectations, and plans.
Some people need to be shown how to do things. They don't like risks, they don't like being wrong, and they benefit from an example to follow.
This week, teach more completely. Explain with more words and share more examples. We all hope you'll be very successful!
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 Comparing your opinions about your teen's smarts to your teen's opinions should make for a rich discussion. What evidence do you see that caused you to rate one of the smarts as a strength? What evidence does your teen have that caused the rating to be different? Listen. Listen longer. Share specifics. Look for more evidence to talk about later.If you don't have the book, you can buy it here. The code to the online assessment is in the book.
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